


we'll make it through this passing storm

by hlundqvists



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, Barebacking, M/M, New York Rangers, Shower Sex, handjobs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-17
Updated: 2014-11-20
Packaged: 2018-02-25 17:36:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2630420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hlundqvists/pseuds/hlundqvists
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>"Good morning, babe."</i>
</p><p>
  <i>The words make him shiver, heart jumping in his chest. He rolls over to see Ryan laying on the bed next to him, propped up on an elbow and smiling brighter than the sun at Dan.</i>
</p><p>Or, Cally comes home a day early to be with Dan before they have to face each other on opposing sides of the ice.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So. I'm going to the game tomorrow night and I just miss Cally with all my heart and I'm probably going to be a sobbing mess at MSG and I wanted to write a little something Ryan/Dan. I'm going to be writing a second chapter based on the ultimate outcome of the game, so you all will have that to look forward to.
> 
> Also, two fics in one night? How did this happen?

The hit hurt bad. His shoulder was sore, chest aching a little from it in the aftermath of the game. Not that Dan would admit that to anyone. He was fine, just a bit sore but he would be okay. There was no reason to alarm anyone.

It’s easy to reason with himself over taking a few pain killers before he crawls into bed that night. They’ll help. He’ll feel a lot better in the morning for having taken them.

Sleep isn’t too far off and that’s when he remembers that tomorrow…. tomorrow Cally comes home.

He panics briefly, wondering if Ryan still has his key but before Dan can grab his phone to send a text to ask, his eyes close and he falls into a numb sleep.

//

Something wakes him in the early hours of the morning.

He blinks his eyes open halfway. His eyelids still feel heavy. It’s difficult to open them fully.

A weight shifts the bed and Dan makes a questioning noise.

"Shh, baby, it’s just me."

Dan knows that voice, he’d recognize it anywhere.

But no… no, Ryan can’t be here yet.

Can he?

He doesn’t stay awake long enough to find, melting back into the grasp of sleep as arms wrap around him and warm his body from head to toe.

//

The next time Dan wakes up, he doesn’t feel as foggy. Everything is a little clearer and it isn’t a task to open his eyes and blink against the sunlight filtering into the room.

"Good morning, babe."

The words make him shiver, heart jumping in his chest. He rolls over to see Ryan laying on the bed next to him, propped up on an elbow and smiling brighter than the sun at Dan.

"Hey."

Dan grins back, extending his arm out, pressing his palm to Ryan’s cheek. Ryan leans into the touch, scooting closer and Dan can’t take the distance that is still between them.

He lunges forward, hand slipping back to cradle the back of Ryan’s head and pulls him into a kiss. 

The kiss is slow and steady. Ryan sliding an arm over Dan’s waist, his fingers walking up Dan’s spine in a lazy manner. They’re both smiling against each other’s lips, eyes open as they keep sharing light kisses.

It’s grounding for Dan to be so close to Ryan again. To be able to kiss him and feel his breath against Dan’s lips. It’s the easiest way for Dan to remember who he is, where he is. 

"I didn’t realize you were coming back so early."

He’s not upset, just stating a fact, kissing Ryan’s bottom lip gently.

"I wasn’t going to but, I heard about the hit." Ryan’s eyes darken a little as he says it. "I wanted to see you as soon as possible."

Dan presses himself closer, curling up to make himself smaller against Ryan in order to press his face to Ryan’s neck.

"I’m okay," he murmurs against Ryan’s collarbone. "I promise I’m okay."

Ryan presses his palm between Dan’s shoulders, moving his thumb in a soft motion.

"I know. I just— I wanted to be sure. Wanted to hold you and be sure."

Dan closes his eyes, skimming his fingers over Ryan’s side.

"I love you a whole fucking lot. You know that, Callahan?"

Ryan laughs, the sound rumbling through his chest and making Dan smile.

"Yeah, I know. I love you a whole fucking lot, too, Girardi."

They stay in bed like that for a while.

Just holding each other, touching and reassuring themselves that the other is _there_ and is _okay_.

//

Ryan — of course — is the one who gets them out of bed.

He pulls Dan to the bathroom and gets him in the shower, pushing him under the spray of warm water and kissing him breathless. 

Dan’s shoulder is still aching a little, making him wince as he tries to wrap his arms around Ryan’s neck to pull him close. 

It doesn’t go unnoticed and Ryan makes a disapproving ‘tsk’ noise.

"Keep your arms down, baby. It’s okay. I can handle this."

Dan sighs, but obeys, resting his hands against Ryan’s hips.

He’ll admit that he’s missed this; the way Ryan likes to take charge and direct Dan around. He’s missed the easy submission he gives to Ryan, the way that he just immediately complies and does what’s asked of him while knowing without a doubt that Ryan will take care of him.

A happy humming sound, almost a purr, escapes him as Ryan gets the shampoo and starts to lather up his hair. 

He’s missed this, too. The way that Ryan takes care of him, washing him and feeding him. All basic things that Dan can do on his own but Ryan likes to do and with his shoulder aching the way it is, Dan is happy to let Ryan to do it.

He melts completely as Ryan massages his scalp, scrubbing over his hair and down his neck. It’s so soothing and sends little shocks of arousal down his body, heat pooling in his stomach.

It doesn’t take long for him to get hard.

"Close your eyes. Head back, baby."

Ryan’s voice is so soft and Dan listens, closing his eyes and leaning his head back into the spray of the water so Ryan can rinse the shampoo out of his hair.

"Good boy."

Dan hums at the praise, then lets out a soft gasp as Ryan presses up against him. Ryan is hard, too; his dick rubbing against Dan’s and sending a shock of pleasure through Dan.

"Oh…"

Dan opens his eyes, looking at Ryan and smiles slowly.

Ryan laughs, pulling Dan in for a kiss with one hand. He reaches down with the other, wrapping his fingers around Dan’s dick and his own and starts to stroke them together.

Dan gasps against Ryan’s mouth, hips rocking forward with the touch.

"I missed you, Dan. Missed you so much."

Ryan bites down on Dan’s bottom lip, earning a light hiss. He strokes their cocks faster, moving sure to rub his thumb over the head of Dan’s whenever possible.

"Missed you, too."

Dan has his hands digging against Ryan’s hip, nails pressing deep to leave crescent shaped indents. 

It’s been so long since he’s had Ryan’s hand on him and Ryan isn’t going slow about this. The strokes are fast, rough. Ryan twisting his hand on every other upstroke, making Dan gasp out and groan with pleasure. He’s not going to last long and he tries to articulate that but Ryan won’t stop kissing him; keeps licking into Dan’s mouth and moving their lips together almost as if he believes that if he lets any contact stop between them, Dan is going to disappear.

Dan moans and rocks his hips forward, clutching at Ryan and just lets out a pitiful whimper as Ryan squeezes their cocks together just right and twists his hand, thumb rubbing under the head of Dan’s cock. Dan comes, then, gasping harshly into Ryan’s mouth and jerking his hips forward with the force of it. 

Ryan doesn’t stop stroking him, just keeps milking him for every drop until Dan is shuddering and whining because it’s too much and it’s starting to hurt and that’s when Ryan comes with a loud groan. He bites down on Dan’s bottom lip hard, nearly breaking skin and if Dan was ten years younger, that would have had him coming a second time.

"Fuck…"

Dan laughs, swiping his tongue over his bottom lip, pushing at the spot where Ryan bit him. It stings a little but he doesn’t taste blood.

Ryan slowly lets go of their cocks, nudging Dan back under the spray to wash the come off his skin.

"You’re so good, Danny. So good all the time."

Dan nearly preens at the praise, smiling happily and seeks out a kiss which Ryan grants to him.

"I’m always gonna be good for you, Ry."

Ryan smiles, kissing Dan’s cheeks in turn.

"I know you will. That’s part of why I love you so much." He washes both of their bodies off before turning the water off, pulling back the shower curtain and reaches for a towel. "I told some of the guys I was coming back today. They want to meet up for lunch, catch up. Are you okay with going to do that?"

Dan nods, stepping out of the shower and holds himself still while Ryan towels him dry.

"Yeah. It’ll be nice. Kind of like having the old gang back together again, eh?"

Ryan smiles with a hint of sadness, cupping Dan’s cheek and kisses him sweetly.

"Yeah. It will."

Dan doesn’t push the subject any further. He lets Ryan dry him off completely and pick out his clothes and when they leave to head out to meet Hank and Marc at a nearby restaurant, he doesn’t once let go of Ryan’s hand.

"I’m really happy that you’re here. Even if it’s only until tomorrow night."

Ryan squeezes his hand, looking at Dan.

"Me too."

Dan swallows, pausing for a moment before asking.

"Are we going to be okay after tomorrow? I mean. Are we going to be okay?”

Ryan squeezes his hand again, a little harder this time.

"Dan, I promise you. No matter what happens tomorrow night, I’m never going to stop loving you. We’re going to be okay. I promise."

He leans in, kissing Dan quickly before pulling back.

"I love you, G."

Dan manages to smile, nearly feeling at ease now.

"Yeah…. I love you, too, Cally."


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote the first half of this on the train ride home after the game. It's finally done. I've never written this much before in such a short period of time. I'm kind of proud of myself? Anyway, enjoy the fact that I didn't completely break my own heart writing this which bodes well for all of you.
> 
>  **trigger warning** : there is an scene in which a panic attack is experienced. so. just a heads up on that.

He told himself that he would fight hard against Ryan. He'd take the puck away if Ryan had it; wouldn't hold back and let his feelings get in the way. It seemed he was incapable of doing something so simple.

The loss stings. Two goals by Ryan and those two are the ones that glued themselves to Dan's eyelids. Each time he closed his eyes, all he saw was Ryan hitting the puck -- the puck hitting the back of the net, the red lights flashing.

The first time he had to bite down hard on his lip to keep from smiling. It was so easy to forget for that minuscule moment that Ryan wasn't on the team anymore. His number might still be the same but his jersey color was different, the team he played with was /different/.

Ryan was with him, but Ryan wasn't / _with_ / him anymore. The gravity of that realization -- of finally seeing Ryan on the ice in a different jersey -- was heavy, painful.

Dan tried to play through it, tried to force himself to make hits and steal the puck away but he just couldn't connect. Everything felt off. The balance was all wrong and he couldn't get his job done.

The ringing of the horn at the end of the third period sounds more malicious than usual to his ears and he doesn't want to stay on the ice for any longer than he absolutely has to. He makes the mistake of looking over at the Tampa team: sees Ryan in the middle of the crowd of celebration. A stab of jealousy and something else -- anger, maybe? -- flares up inside his chest and he skates off, heads to the locker room without a second glance.

//

He gets through the questions from the media, giving out the sound bites that he knows they are after.

He's honest about how the team played, that no matter who it was they were facing tonight, they were exposed and making bad plays.

When they ask about Ryan, he's sure that the stuttering of his breath is audible but no one comments or seems to notice. He feeds a quick line about how it would have been nice to keep Ryan from scoring, and that Ryan is a good player. Short and simple.

He says it all and then leaves as fast as he can, rushing through his shower and pulling his suit back on without pausing to dry his hair.

His phone vibrates a few times in his pocket. He knows exactly who the texts are from. Right now, he can't do this. He can't talk to Ryan and keep his emotions in check and be level headed. So he takes his phone out and shuts it off, slipping it back into his pocket without a second thought.

On the way out, he passes by Hank who catches his gaze. There's a question lingering in Hank's eyes but Dan just shakes his head, thankful when Hank nods and turns his attention to Marc.

Dan pulls his coat closer against himself, turning the collar up and heads down to his car.

His phone feels heavier than usual in his pocket.

//

When he gets home, he takes his phone out and turns it back on, leaving it on the kitchen counter as he sheds off his clothes and goes to the bathroom to take another shower.

He doesn't want to get out from under the water. Here, under the spray, he can at least semi-forget about the game. It's easy to pretend when all you have around you is water and cool tiles that the rest of the world doesn't exist; that time is standing still and nothing else matters.

It's not long until memories from the previous morning come slinking back into his mind; the way Ryan had touched him, had kissed him so sweetly. His chest aches, lungs feeling like they're bound to collapse in on themselves at any moment.

He can't breathe. It hurts too much. Thinking about Ryan, missing Ryan. It all hurts / _ **too much**_ /. He doesn't know what to do.

He grabs at the shower curtain, tugging it open and nearly trips over himself as he gets out and hurries to the kitchen. He needs his phone, needs to hear Ryan's voice. He needs to know that it's okay, that everything is okay.

It's a miracle that he doesn't fall flat on his face on the way to the kitchen, wet feet slipping against the wood floors.

He manages to grab his phone, unlocking it and quickly glances at the few missed texts from Ryan.

' _you were good out there, babe_ '

' _i wish things were different_ '

' _i'm so proud of you_ '

' _please talk to me, dan. please don't shut me out_ '

and lastly,

 _'i love you. i love you, please don't forget that._ '

Dan chokes back a sob and quickly pulls up Ryan's number, hitting dial so hard he nearly chips the phone screen. He's shaking, dropping down to the floor and crowding himself up against the kitchen cabinets. The line rings and rings and rings, and just when Dan is about to give up - when he thinks that maybe Ryan really doesn't want to hear from him - there's an answer.

"Dan?"

Ryan sounds worried and Dan can almost see the crease that must be forming between Ryan's eyebrows.

"/Dan/? Dan, babe, are you okay?"

Dan chokes, clutching the phone tight.

"N-no."

He hates sounding this weak, seeming this pathetic but he can't hide it. Not when he hears Ryan sounding so goddamn worried.

"Dan, baby, just hang tight. I'm on my way over, okay? I'll be there soon."

"You d-don't--" Dan has to fight to bite back the pained sobs rolling up from his chest. He wants to say, ' _you don't have to come here_ ' or maybe ' _you don't have to love me_ ', but the words get caught in his throat.

"I'm coming over, Dan. That isn't negotiable right now. Do you need me to stay on the phone with you?"

Somehow Dan manages to choke out a, "yes".

"Okay, baby. I'm not going to hang up. Just listen to me, okay? Focus on my voice. I'm here. I promise I haven't gone anywhere."

But that's a lie. It's a lie and Dan knows it, knows that Ryan knows it and the comfort that those words once held is gone.

Dan can't form any coherent words, just breathes shakily and sobs with every exhale. Ryan does his best to keep up a slew of words, obviously saying whatever comes to his mind. Dan listens to the background noises of Ryan getting a cab, giving the address to the driver and shifting against the seat of the cab.

"Ugh, god, I forgot how bad these things can smell. Do you remember that time we got into the cab and there was a bag of vomit on the floor? That was a great ending to a dinner date, huh? Do you remember that?"

Dan does remember. He remembers the utter look of disgust on Ryan's face, remembers the way that he had laughed and pulled Ryan back, told him there were a thousand other cabs in the city that they could catch. He remembers going home that night and the way Ryan had pressed him down against the bed. It was one of those nights where Ryan took his time; slowly taking Dan apart inch by inch until all Dan could do was shudder and beg for Ryan to fuck him. He remembers every detail vividly.

He chokes, breath hiccuping violently and chest heaving, aching as if a wall of bricks was crushing down on him. In that moment, the true thing that he wants more than anything hits him.

He wants to make more of those memories with Ryan. He wants to be with Ryan forever, wants to spend the rest of each day with him but he can't have that. He /can't/. Ryan belongs in Tampa now, belongs there and not here in New York anymore. Ryan isn't going to be /here/.

Dan can't breathe. He can't get past the panic swirling through his mind, choking him and making it seem impossible to get air to his lungs. His head feels light, dizziness overwhelming him. He thinks he might black out, but he's not sure.

He must because when he opens his eyes, Ryan is crouching on the floor in front of him, worry sketched in his expression.

"Dan? Dan, baby, I'm here."

Dan chokes on a sob and lunges forward, nearly knocking Ryan off his feet. Ryan catches him and pulls him closer, settling down onto the floor and rubs a hand over Dan's back.

"Dan.... Oh, Dan. Baby, I need you to breathe with me." Ryan curls a hand around Dan's neck, pulling him down to his chest. "Here, come here. Just listen and breathe with me."

Dan scrambles to hold onto Ryan, hands grabbing at the front of his shirt and lets himself be moved easily until he has an ear pressed up against Ryan's chest. He closes his eyes, listens to the steady _thump, thump, thump_ of Ryan's heart and focuses on the rise and fall of Ryan's chest under his head. His mind fights against him as he tries to match the steady pace. The panic is still the more dominant in his head, filling the majority of his chest.

Ryan touches him carefully, almost as though he's fearful of the reaction it will bring but once he runs his hand over Dan's back a few times and Dan doesn't bolt away, the touch becomes firmer.

"That's it, baby. Good boy. Just breathe with me."

Ryan's voice is steady, strong. It's a sensory anchor that Dan latches onto, clutching tight and mixing it with the sound of Ryan's heart. He lets the two things combine and flow through him, adds the rising and falling of Ryan's chest to it.

Time passes slowly and little by little, Dan regains control of his breathing.

His lungs don't feel like they are burning so hotly, his chest still heavy but not overwhelmingly so. Awareness starts to come back to him and with it the realization that the floor is very uncomfortable beneath his knees and he's cold. He shivers and lifts his head slowly, blinking his eyes open to look at Ryan.

Ryan has a furrow between his eyebrows, that small visible clue of worry he can never hide. 

"Hey..... You back with me now, Dan?"

Dan nods, inhaling and exhaling slowly. Just like Ryan still is.

"Y-yeah."

His voice is hoarse, throat hurting and feeling a bit tight.

"Good, good." Ryan presses a kiss to his forehead and murmurs against it, "We need to get up. You need to get some clothes on. Get in bed, warm up." Ryan gently urges him up onto his feet, never once letting go of him. 

Together they head to the bedroom and once there, Ryan goes to the dresser and pulls out some pajamas; he helps Dan get into them, pressing kisses to Dan's shoulders, neck, and cheeks while doing so. It's a simple gesture that helps Dan relax a bit and makes it easy to crawl into bed with Ryan.

Ryan lays back, arm lifted and extended out and Dan immediately crowds into the space. He presses himself up against Ryan's side, pushing a leg between Ryan's and hooks an arm over Ryan's waist. The fully body contact grounds him. Ryan is a warm anchor, one that he never wants to lose.

"We should probably talk about what happened there."

Dan doesn't want to, but he knows he can't escape from this. He knows that it needs to be addressed and brushing it away as nothing won't satisfy Ryan. So he grits his teeth and rests his cheek against Ryan's shoulder.

"I don't want to lose you and I'm scared I'm going to."

Ryan tenses beneath him and pulls him closer.

"You're not going to lose me, Dan. You're not. I _love_ you. Only you. And the distance may suck but we can get through it, yeah? You and me. We can do this. We can work at it and get through it."

Dan makes a small noise, biting his lip and presses his face further against Ryan's neck. He doesn't know what to say. There are so many things he _wants_ to say but the words are stuck in his throat and Ryan.... Ryan just seems to know; rubbing Dan's back firmly and kissing the top of his head.

"I don't want to be with anyone else. I love you more than anything in this world. I always have and that's not going to change." Ryan lowers his voice, speaking so softly that Dan nearly misses his next words. "You're it for me, Danny. You're mine and I'm never letting you go."

Dan pushes himself up, neck craning to seek Ryan's lips because he needs to kiss Ryan, needs to feel those words against his lips and Ryan obliges. He curls a hand around the back of Dan's neck, pulling him in and kissing him firmly while murmuring over and over, "You're mine, I love you, you're _mine_."

Somehow between the kisses, Ryan manages to roll Dan over onto his back and push between his legs, using his body to press Dan down against the mattress while kissing him breathless. Dan tangles his fingers in Ryan's hair, gasping and pushing up into each kiss as much as he can.

"I love you, Ry. I love you. I'm yours. I'm all yours. Please don't let me go."

Ryan bites at Dan's bottom lip, making it sting before soothing it with a flick of his tongue.

"Never gonna let you go, Dan. I love you so much."

Dan whimpers softly, rubbing his fingers against the base of Ryan's neck. "I love you, too." He whispers it against Ryan's lips, then kisses Ryan soundly.

A gentle crash of teeth and tongues follows. Ryan pulling away momentarily to shed his clothes and grab the lube from the nightstand before coming back, hands pressing down on Dan's chest to keep him against the bed. Dan tries to push up, reaching to pull Ryan close again but Ryan just clicks his tongue and shakes his head.

"Shh, baby. Stay still. I'm going to make you feel good. I promise."

Dan trusts him so completely, maybe even more than usual in that moment. He drops his hands to his sides and licks his lips, watching Ryan and swallows thickly.

"Okay."

Ryan smiles and pulls Dan's pajamas pants down, Dan lifting his hips to help, and tosses them off to the side. A minute passes by slowly as Ryan just looks at Dan, adoration clear in his gaze and Dan feels himself blushing hotly. 

"You're so beautiful."

Ryan slides his hands up Dan's thighs, thumbs rubbing over his skin lightly.

"So, so beautiful."

He's leaning down now, breath puffing out against Dan's cock and making it twitch slightly. Ryan laughs and blows out a stream of cool air against the head of Dan's cock. The sensation makes Dan yelp in surprise, hips lifting up.

"/Ry/."

Ryan just laughs again and blows some more air, waiting until Dan opens his mouth to complain before taking Dan's cock into his mouth. Dan moans low, dropping his head back against the pillows and threads his fingers into Ryan's hair.

"Ah... yeah, fuck."

Ryan hums around him and takes him in all the way, not stopping until the head of Dan's cock is hitting the back of his throat and his nose is nestled against Dan's pubic hair. Ryan's mouth is so goddamn warm around him, so wet and feels so _good_. Dan groans, keeping his hips still despite the burning desire to thrust up. He's rewarded for it by Ryan swallowing around him and humming before pulling off.

"Good boy," Ryan licks at the head of Dan's dick, making Dan shudder. "You're so good, baby."

Dan just digs his fingers hard against Ryan's scalp and whines, wanting more. There's impatience building up now. They don't have forever to spend in this bed together anymore and Dan just wants Ryan inside him before morning comes.

Ryan seems to be on the same page because for once, he doesn't reprimand Dan for being impatient and pushing for him to go faster. He gives Dan's cock a few more quick licks before grabbing the lube and opens it, spreading some on his fingers and teases at Dan's opening with them.

It's been _months_ since Ryan's fucked Dan and Dan misses it so much. He misses the feeling of Ryan's dick inside him, stretching him and filling him so much. He whines a little, spreading his legs further apart and makes a loud sighing noise of relief when Ryan starts to press his index finger inside.

"Yes, oh.... fuck, Ry."

Ryan kisses his thigh lightly, working the finger in slowly.

"Shh, I've got you, baby. Gonna make it good. Just gotta get you ready first."

Dan exhales, slowly rolling his hips to fuck himself down on Ryan's finger. "Mm, I can take more. Please."

Ryan kisses his thigh again, teasing at Dan with his middle finger before pressing it in too, working both his fingers in deep and scissoring them slowly. Dan sighs and moans with the action, carding his fingers through Ryan's hair and keeps moving his hips.

Ryan works him open slowly, alternating between kissing and biting his thigh while fucking into him with both fingers at an even pace. He presses them in deep, crooking them to brush over Dan's prostate and making Dan moan loudly. It doesn't take long for Dan to turn into a shuddering mess.

"Ry, m-more. Please."

Tonight, it seems, is a night where Ryan can't deny Dan any request. The moment Dan asks, Ryan gives and adds a third finger; pushing in harder and working his fingers more earnestly into Dan.

It feels incredible. Pleasure rocks through Dan and sparks fly up his body each time Ryan brushes his fingers of Dan's prostate but it's still not enough. He needs _Ryan_ inside him, needs to be filled and completely claimed.

He needs to feel it and know that Ryan really has him, that Ryan isn't letting go of him.

He babbles all of this out between gasps and moans and Ryan hushes him with gentle words and light kisses up along his body until Ryan is kissing him, swallowing all his sobs and whimpers up while still fucking into him easily with three fingers.

"R-Ryan. _Please_."

"Shh," Ryan kisses him slowly. "I know, baby. I know."

Ryan presses his fingers in deep a few more times before pulling them out. He grabs the lube once more, getting more on his hand and slicks his cock up while kissing Dan slowly. They break away to gasp for air and Ryan settles between Dan's legs, lining himself up and rubbing the head of his dick over Dan's hole a few times. He presses the tip in a little, then pulls his hips back and Dan sobs out a whine, grabbing at Ryan's hips and trying to pull him back.

"D-Don't," his voice breaks, breath hiccuping, "tease me, Ryan."

Ryan brushes his lips over Dan's, eyes settled on those bright blues of Dan's.

"I love you, Dan Girardi. You're **_mine_**."

He presses in and Dan sobs with relief, lifting his legs to wrap around Ryan's hips and draw him in closer. Ryan gasps, sliding smoothly in all the way, not stopping until he's balls deep and kisses Dan hard.

Dan moans louder than ever, hands skimming up Ryan's back. His nails digging in hard, leaving behind trails of red markings. Ryan grunts and bites down on Dan's bottom lip, slowly pulling out before rocking back into Dan. 

It's overwhelming for Dan to have Ryan inside him again, to feel Ryan filling him and marking him. He gasps and shudders, clutching onto Ryan as Ryan starts up a fast pace. 

There's no more teasing, no more push for patience. Ryan rocks his hips in a hard, fast pace and Dan can't do anything except hold on and let the pleasure wash over him.

Ryan drops his head down to Dan's shoulder, mouthing and biting at his collarbone. He's thrusting hard, grunting with the force of each thrust and lowering his entire body weight down onto Dan. 

Dan feels safe like this. He feels secure and feels so fucking _good_ and _full_ and he never wants this to stop. He never wants to stop fucking to rocking force of Ryan's thrust, the slide of Ryan's dick inside him, hitting his prostate and making him mewl with pleasure. He never wants this to stop, never wants to let go. He feels Ryan all around him.

All he can see and hear and smell and feel is Ryan and Dan wants to drown in this. He never wants to be away from this.

He's not going to last much longer, though. It's getting harder to hold on, the pleasure building higher and higher inside him and all it takes to set him off is Ryan's teeth digging hard against his collarbone.

" _Ryan!_ "

He shouts it loud, sobbing Ryan's name like a prayer and comes hard, stripping his stomach and chest with the force of it. He shudders and shakes through it, clutching Ryan even more tightly and clenches around Ryan's dick.

"Ah, fuck, D-Danny. _Danny_ , fuck, baby. I'm gonna come. Gonna fill you up."

Dan can only manage to moan as Ryan fucks into him harder, fucking him down against the mattress.

When Ryan comes, it's the most beautiful thing that Dan has ever seen. His face goes lax with pleasure, a low groan coming from deep in his chest and he thrusts in as deep as he can to fill Dan with his come. It's warm and feels so incredible, feels like Dan is finally _home_.

"Dan... Danny, Dan. Oh, fuck, baby."

Ryan's kissing him hard, licking in his mouth and still rocking his hips minutely. Dan chokes on a moan, arms wrapped tightly around Ryan's neck and legs staying hooked tight around Ryan's hips to keep him close, to keep him inside Dan.

"I love you. I love you, I love you. I love you so much."

Dan's babbling between kisses, eyes closed and tears sliding down his face. He feels _so much_ in that moment. He just loves Ryan with every ounce of his being and he doesn't want to let go.

Ryan tries to hush him, kissing him softly and running a hand over his side lightly. 

"I know, baby. I love you, too. I love you, too, so fucking much. You gotta let me pull out, love. Come on."

Dan doesn't want to. He wants Ryan to stay inside him all night, but he knows he can't. He slowly loosens his hold on Ryan, legs dropping from around his waist and Ryan kisses him while pulling out.

"Good boy. Oh, Dan, you're so good. You're so good, baby."

Ryan keeps kissing him and runs a hand through the come drying on Dan's stomach, swirls it around and catches a little on his fingers, lifting it to his lips and licks it clean. Dan makes a noise like he's been punched in the stomach and pulls Ryan back in for another kiss, licking into Ryan's mouth and tasting himself there.

Eventually Ryan pulls away, breathing heavily and trails his fingers over Dan's cheek.

"Let's go get cleaned up, hm? Then I just want to hold you all night while we sleep. Is that okay?"

Dan nods, turning his head to kiss Ryan's palm.

"Yeah, s'more than okay."

Ryan smiles and kisses his forehead.

"I love you."

Dan hums.

"I love you, too."

//

They take their time in the shower, cleaning each other off and sharing lazy kisses until the water goes cold and their fingers are shriveled up like prunes.

Ryan keeps true to his hold and pulls Dan into his arms once they fall back into bed. He holds Dan close and kisses Dan's hair and hums softly until Dan falls asleep against his chest.

It's the most peaceful night of sleep Dan has ever had in a long time.

//

Morning comes and the inevitable weight of reality comes crashing back with it.

Dan knows he has to say goodbye, but now, it doesn't feel as if the goodbye will be forever. He trusts in Ryan, trusts in _them_ and their love.  
It doesn't make the goodbye any easier.

They're both a little rushed from having slept in late; Ryan has to get back to the hotel to meet the team, Dan has practice and a team meeting to get to.

They eat breakfast together in relative silence but hold hands through it. Ryan brushing his thumb over Dan's constantly as they chew their food and exchange quick glances.

Dan drives Ryan to the hotel and tries to keep himself in check. Ryan looks like he'd rather stay in the car with Dan, but Ryan has always been the stronger one and breaks the silence after a minute.

"I'll call you after the game tonight, okay?"

Dan nods, smiles.

"Sounds good."

Ryan leans over and curls a hand against Dan's neck, kissing him slowly. When he breaks it, he rests his forehead against Dan's and mumbles out, "I love you."

Dan rubs his nose against Ryan's, smiling through the pricking of tears at the corners of his eyes.

"I love you, too."

Ryan squeezes his neck and kisses him again.

"I'm always gonna be yours."

Dan nods.

"And I'm always going to be yours, Ry." He gives Ryan's shoulder a gentle push. "Now go. You're going to miss the bus."

Ryan smiles and kisses him one more time before getting out of the car.

Dan watches him walk away and head inside the hotel, taking a steadying breath to control the tears that want to fall. He's not going to let them.

His phone beeps in his pocket and he takes it out. It's a text from Ryan.

' _you owe me a chicken parm next time_ '

Dan laughs loudly, shooting back a quick response.

' _in your dreams, callahan_ '

The reply is almost instantaneous.

' _you love me too much to deny me my fave food_ '

Dan snorts and answers again.

' _yeah yeah keep telling yourself that_ '

then, ' _i do. i love you a whole lot._ '

Ryan's reply comes a few minutes later.

' _i love you, too. we're gonna be okay. we always will be. i love you, danny g. don't forget it._ '

followed by, ' _gotta go now. i'll call you after the game. xoxo_ '

Dan smiles and saves the text.

It's a little easier to drive away. Not by much, but it's still just a little easier.

He and Ryan -- they'll be just fine. He believes it even more so now.


End file.
